Exploring Types of Self-Esteem and Their Origins
Self-esteem is one of the essential concepts in psychology and refers to the value a person places on themselves. It can be classified into three basic types. Each of these types has its own characteristics and consequences in our daily lives. In this article, we will explore the main types of self-esteem, their origins, consequences, and theoretical foundations.
The Three Main Types of Self-Esteem
High Self-Esteem
Characteristics:
High self-esteem is characterized by a positive self-assessment based on an understanding and acceptance of one’s qualities. People with high self-esteem feel confident, capable, and valued. They have a good relationship with their identity and can handle criticism or challenges without it significantly affecting their self-concept (the image we have of ourselves).
Origin:
High self-esteem is strongly related to having a secure relationship with our attachment figures during our development. Growing up in an environment where our emotions and experiences are validated, where we are not emotionally mistreated or criticized destructively, and where we are supported and cared for throughout our growth while respecting our boundaries promotes the development of high self-esteem.
Consequences:
People with high self-esteem tend to be more satisfied with their lives, have a healthier relationship with their emotions, are more resilient, and tend to establish healthy interpersonal relationships. They have a clear sense of who they are, and this sense of self-worth does not depend on external factors.
Theory:
This concept has its roots in humanistic psychology, particularly in the work of Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow. Maslow placed self-esteem as one of the basic needs in his famous hierarchy, just below self-actualization. Rogers, on the other hand, emphasized the importance of self-concept and self-acceptance as key elements for healthy self-esteem.
Low Self-Esteem
Characteristics:
Low self-esteem is the opposite of high self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often have a negative or unstable perception of themselves. They may feel insecure, inadequate, and have difficulty facing criticism or stressful situations. They are likely to compare themselves to others (feeling inferior) and often engage in self-criticism.
Origin:
Growing up in an environment where our emotions are invalidated (even if only some of them), where we are judged and criticized destructively, and where we are labeled based on what we do or feel can lead to the development of low self-esteem. This type of environment fosters a belief that one’s worth depends on meeting certain criteria. Bullying is also a significant factor, as people who have experienced bullying are more likely to develop low self-esteem.
Fortunately, we can improve our self-esteem throughout life.
Consequences:
This type of self-esteem can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
People with low self-esteem often base their sense of worth on external factors, such as what others think of them or their success measured by external achievements. They may also feel inherently deficient, believe they are not enough, or feel that something is fundamentally wrong with them.
As a result, they are more vulnerable to external manipulation, more easily influenced, and may experience emotional instability, as their sense of self-worth depends on external circumstances.
Contrary to what it may seem, narcissistic individuals who are focused on “succeeding” often have low self-esteem. It is precisely because of this that they strive to be the best in their respective fields or put others down to avoid feeling threatened.
Theory:
Like high self-esteem, this concept also originates from humanistic psychology. Rogers highlighted how developing in an environment that does not foster unconditional acceptance can lead to low self-esteem, where a person perceives themselves negatively.
Inflated Self-Esteem
Characteristics:
People with inflated self-esteem seemingly have an excessively high opinion of themselves, which can lead to arrogant, narcissistic, or egocentric behavior. They tend to look down on others and may have difficulty accepting their own mistakes.
As mentioned earlier, their self-esteem depends on external elements, mainly their achievements or status in any field where they feel they must excel.
Origin:
They usually had childhoods where they were primarily seen, loved, or validated based on whether they met certain expectations from their environment. In families where only success is encouraged, or where love and support are given only if the child behaves in a certain way, or where there is emotional or physical abuse, the child feels they must pay close attention to what they do and how they do it to feel safe.
Consequences:
Since their sense of worth depends on their performance and how they are perceived, they tend to develop highly perfectionistic tendencies and a strong sense of self-demand. It is common for them to engage in addictive or risky behaviors to cope with the stress and intense internal pressure they carry.
They often feel isolated from others because they cannot allow themselves to be vulnerable, as this could damage the image they want to project to the outside world. Their constant struggle for power and superiority leads to superficial relationships, and it’s common for people to distance themselves from them.
Theory:
This concept has its roots in narcissistic psychology, a field extensively studied by Sigmund Freud and later by Heinz Kohut. Freud introduced the idea of narcissism as an exaggerated self-image, while Kohut explored how inflated self-esteem can develop as a defense mechanism to protect a fragile self.
Different Facets
Self-esteem can be restricted to certain aspects of a person’s life. For example, someone might have high self-esteem in their professional life but have a poor self-concept when it comes to their physical appearance.
However, a person with solid, positive self-esteem will always find its origin within themselves and in the notion of self-acceptance. Nevertheless, achieving such self-esteem requires being good at listening to oneself, accepting all emotions, and staying true to one’s values, which is not always easy.
Final Reflections
Self-esteem is a fundamental pillar in our lives, impacting not only how we see ourselves but also how we interact with the world around us.
Recognizing the different types of self-esteem and their origins allows us to better understand our emotions and behaviors. However, this understanding is only the first step. Improving and maintaining healthy self-esteem is a continuous process that requires self-awareness, support, and, in many cases, the guidance of a professional. You can also start your journey by reading some books on the subject, such as this one or this one.
If you indentify with any of the challenges related to low or inflated self-esteem, you are not alone. Therapy is a powerful tool that can help you develop a more balanced and authentic self-esteem. If you are interested in attending therapy in Valencia or online from abroad, don’t hesitate to contact us to start a journey toward a better relationship with yourself. Your emotional well-being and happiness are worth the effort. Take the first step today!
